I know what you're saying. It's a given that when modern-day Pharisees discover someone living the truth they will repel and make clear how very unwelcome we are in their lives. It doesn't mean we should reciprocate that type of shunning, but at the same time, it doesn't edify us to continue in a body that's spiritually dead for an indefinite amount of time. I say, if Jesus clearly isn't central, he probably isn't in the midst either...and if He isn't there I sure don't want to be...especially if it's my family's primary place of worship. I believe in the concept of a believer's church. I guess every situation is different but where there is no willingness for honesty or truthful interaction I doubt if much growth can take place in either party simply by co-existing in a state of superficiality.

I agree wholeheartedly. To abide in a congregation that continuously pushes out the truth and authenticity of Christ through the "discipline" (of man) of its congregates for the purposes of man rather than that of Christ is destined for calamity. This is especially true if the believers who see this have tried to reconcile and talk with the pastor(s) about their questions/concerns. Some would debate where a line of loyalty crosses that of enabling spiritually abusive behavior. This is a tough line to discern, and must be brought to Christ & prayed about as well.

“Because God speaks, there is a community that bears his name” (Michael Horton).

This may be one of the single best blog posts I've read read on being the church and staying in the church. Thank you for writing it.

beatifully written sentiments!!! i could not agree more with you. until we look for JESUS as HE is and not as we want him to be, we will continue to be un-fulfilled.

Thoughtful, press on! (Hosea 6:1-3)

I respect your courage in posting your perspective here. It is clear that Rachel's post struck a nerve, with many people across the country for different reasons. And I respect that you had the courage to respond, continue a dialogue, raise important questions, and share perspectives that further exploration into this important issue. I equally respect that you have decided to stay committed to a community that you love and that loves your family well despite your frustrations. I can't imagine what you and your family have experienced and as a wife and mother, I admire both you and your husband's strength and commitment to those around you. As you communicate, any type of love requires a commitment of staying put and talking it out, with our best attempt to listen, respect, and love one another in our differences. However, this last part: the commitment to listen and talk it out with respect and love is what I think Rachel and many of her readers don't see within our scripturally conservative churches and why so many identified with her post. Like Rachel and probably yourself, I was long a part of a scripturally conservative church, probably much like the church and community that you have described above. Within their interpretations of scripture, God was all-powerful (agreed) and full of grace and love (agreed); however, in these same interpretations, women were also told to 'deny' their 'selfish' desires for a job outside the home, because men were designed to 'labor' outside the home while women were 'designed' to be in the home and love and serve their husband. Women that chose to work when it was not financially necessary were perceived to lack trust in God and refusing to accept their God-ordained position within the home, church, and society. Likewise, within these same interpretations, women were not allowed to become pastors or preach in front of the church, because 'God' had only outlined that men were hold this position (and this position was defended with the upmost respect and admiration for the women within the church. Men needed this 'push' from God because they were prone to laziness and to default to the strong leadership of women. Women, like Eve, were too strong of leaders). Similarly, people with anxiety or depression were told that they were possessed or being attacked by Satan; and individuals with homosexual desires were told that God had given them a 'thorn in their side' to bring them closer to him. Scientific discussions around evolution or global warming were believed to strip God of his mystery and place trust more in the work of man than God. While not all churches believe these things, this one did and I believe that many of those that identify with Rachel did as well. And when people attempted to challenge or question these tenants, they were told that they were not submitting to the truth of the scripture. All they needed to do was trust that God's word was true and submit to it. And this doesn't even begin to address responses to people who questioned God's existence! While I respect the conclusions and value that you shared them, I also think it's important that a conversation is continued that explores how this logic (to 'submit to God' and stay put) within the church is dangerous. I believe that it has been used to perpetuate enormous and un-Godly injustices throughout history. Historically, individuals have stayed within church buildings, in spite of their convictions, and I would argue that this commitment to stay in pews for the sake of Christ's community but not committed to change resulted in the enslavement and later oppression of African-Americans, the genocide of Jews, the colonization and later oppression of people in South Africa, India, Zimbabwe, and a multitude of other countries across the globe. Today, to name two, this refusal to stand up is resulting in the isolation and hatred directed towards homosexual individuals and Muslims. 'Staying in the pews' is often done with the commitment to community, which is admirable, but often it just perpetuates the status quo and continues to silence the voices of some of the members who love God's grace but don't like how it is misused to generate hate and division among humanity. What if people were to say: We want to church to change or we're leaving and developing a different kind of Christian community that recognizes and institutes processes for regularly and swiftly recognizing the social injustices around us. I think that the church would have no option but to change. I admire the people who are speaking out against it and I hope that this leads to a much-needed revolution within the church.

I don't know where you live or who you are but I would love to sit down over a cup of tea with you. I think the conversation would be fascinating....perhaps one day in Heaven (where I'm sure the tea will be extraordinary)!

The true church is more like a hospital full of aching hurting people. The true church builds hospitals and orphanages to do what hurting aching people can do for other hurting aching other people.

Thank you; I appreciate your perspective on this. I also wrote a post in response to Rachel's blog and more particularly a discussion that resulted from it. It was posted March 21, 2012 on memosfromgod.com if you're interested in reading it. http://www.memosfromgod.com/?p=1273

Thank you so much for this post. We are going to discuss both articles with our young adult group (20's - 30's) Lord willing. Thank you for your faithfulness. Love in Christ, Kim

Thank you very much for articulating what I have felt for the past few years. I did leave our church, after being on staff. But, because I share those same thoughts you expressed, I couldn't stay out of "church". Fortunately, we found another fellowship to be part of. I didn't leave the Church, but we did find another church. Thank you for giving validation to my reasons for returning.

Thank you for this thoughtful post. It reflects much of what I have learned the hard way.

Our family wandered in the wilderness outside the church community for five years after leaving our family church denomination. We left primarily for doctrinal reasons and secondarily for the sake of our children and the influence the corruption in that particular church had on them.

Parents do have an accountability before God to make sure all the spiritual leadership they are exposed to are in accordance with what those parents believe is the truth. If what is preached in the pulpit and administered among the members is not in very close accord with what the parents are teaching at home, the result can be devastating.

That being said, it is also inexcusable to wander for too long or to give up on the Church altogether. Consequently, we eventually made an out-of-state move to be in a church community which lined up with our beliefs. After seven years, we are still not sorry we did.

We have been outside the Church community, and we pray we may never go there again.

Great encouragement. Thank you! Though I did not leave the church physically, after a huge church wound, I left it emotionally. God is bringing me out of that wilderness and showing me, along with you, that 2000 years of church history holds a bit more weight than my personal experience!

Excellent! Very encouraging and biblically sound reasons. I hope and pray some of this younger generation can gather that maturity and insight. The devil is working overtime to discourage and disillusion these young people. I love them and want them to have a close and wonderful relationship to Christ and God (Jn 17:3). Keep up your fine work!